One of the more vexatious memories of our parish occurred in 2017 when some hooligans tried to break into the church. When unsuccessful, they decided to wage war on our statue of St Joseph that occupied a place of honour in the front garden. It was the following morning when we first discovered they had chopped off St Joseph’s head.

Two of our determined parishioners, men of practical skills and boundless optimism (who we will call Eric and Peter to protect their identity) came to the rescue.  Armed with cement and skill, they carefully reattached the head, and thought the problem solved.

This worked… until the next decapitation.  Refusing to be beaten, they tried again.  This seemed to only incite the intruders to return.  Again, St Joseph was the victim of mindless brutality. 

This time our intrepid surgeons reinforced the repair with a metal rod through the neck. Surely that would do it. However, the mystery vandals struck once more.

There were at least four beheadings before our dynamic duo finally admitted defeat. Our beloved St Joseph statue had followed in the footsteps of St John the Baptist, becoming the unfortunate victim of this time not Herod the tetrarch, but common vandals.